Jenny Don't be Hasty

It's raining again today.

I find that when there's a huge rustling happening outside of my domain then that's the best place to organize my thoughts; best place to evaluate fresh events and to really just...ponder.

At least, this is how I feel after a full day of work when it's raining outside.

What I'm thinking about tonight are my two jobs that I've taken up this summer here in my hometown Regina, Sask.; Milky Way and La Bodega.

Milky Way is an independently owned ice cream parlor that's well respected and heavily known through its reputation. Meanwhile, La Bodega is a fancy upscale, artsy and also independently owned restaurant. It's known for being the restaurant in a house that is attached to an open tree house and also head to head competition with a similar restaurant called the Freehouse.
But dude, it beats Freehouse all the way 'cause we look good both day and night, and our Mojitos kicks their Mojito's ass any day.

I would have to say that I have probably the best two summer jobs that Regina could ever offer me, and frankly, I don't think I'm alone in thinking this.

Milky Way, yo.

At Milky way, I get to work with fun, kind benevolent people doing simple tasks. Most of the time there, it hardly even feels like work. So it's really chill.

Fancy that, La Bodega

When I'm not working at Milky Way, surely, you can find me at Bodega where you'll see that I am the hostess in the evenings. It's sweet working here cause I get to dress fancy, test my level of service to customers and coworkers in all areas and most importantly, I get to learn the business of running a business.

Pretty cool, I'd say.

But of course, there are a lot of downfalls of working at these places.
Doi, I'm tired, but that's not all.

Not only am I lacking sleep, but a lot of times I'm lacking respect.

At Milky Way, it's from the customers.

Do I look stupid to you because I'm scooping ice cream?

At Bodega, it's everyone. I'm constantly awaited by impatient customers and coworkers because as a hostess, I'm being dependent on for so and so's convenience.

Do I look like super woman to you?

And, I guess the core of this post, is not for me to tell you of my work places, but rather the unnecessary intolerance of people in which I have discovered through my work places.

The word 'sorry' has lost all its meaning, yet the 'thank yous' has not intact itself yet.
Frankly, that only because that's a word I rarely hear.

I could provide some examples to give you a better idea of where I'm coming from, by if I were to do that, I would risk people feeling attacked by it. And I don't think I can handle that.

But, I'm not THAT passive.

What I don't want to tolerate with anymore is the way people behave. That is, ungrateful and snobbish of those subservient to them. I mean, you could say sorry for acting in an unintentional manner, but the more often that routine goes, it just goes to show that they're not being honest about their apologies.

That's something I despise in people, and I suppose that is the purpose of this post.

I don't want to become what I despise in people.

What is the point of that behaving like that anyway?
It's only temporary to get your way through those who cause an inconvenience to you. It most certainly does not make you a better person for making the person feel low about themselves.
And overall, that's just an ugly trait of a person.

Tell me, how did people disintegrate to be so ungrateful?

How a person should be

Let me be clear before I continue my thoughts. I'm not trying to stir up some beef with anybody.

I'm simply trying to understand the irony of God's mentality.

As in His decision as to who gets to go heaven and who goes to hell.

You're going to hate me for thinking the way I do.

I claim to be a Christian myself, because, to be honest, that's the religion that I've been exposed to as a child and the most prominent religion that I see. But I don't believe that it's necessarily the only 'right' religion.

If I were to write about this topic--or any topic relating the big G topic--about a year ago, I would have definitely thought differently, or at least keep my mouth shut and wait for an appropriate neutral answer for the issue.

But I believe now that I'm thinking clearer than ever.

It seems so redundant for Christianity, or any religion for that matter, to divide people to be destined to go to either heaven or hell.

I mean, in a believer's perspective, typically, it's whether you believe in God or not that decides your destination for life after death. Right?

But the Bible says that God is all knowing and powerful too. Which means that God ultimately decides your destination for life after death before your life even begins.

How does that work?

How can someone create something in which contradicts the laws of good and bad that they themselves created too?

That's not fair.

How does the world look like to you?

I got to this question when I wondered about homosexuality.

I'm a hetero myself. But I've met a lot of good people. Some of whom are homosexual.
And to be frank, those who are homosexual seem to be more level headed than the heteros. The ones I have met seem to be more honest, reasonable, funner than those who are straight. Ultimately, they're good people.

But just because of their sexual preference, they're condensed to the belief that they're sinful.
Aren't we all sinful, anyway?
But according to the Bible, homosexuality is a ticket to hell for that person.

How is that fair?

Explanation, please?

Why is it that a person should feel guilty for feeling the way they do that feels natural to them?
And if this is the way that God has designed them, why is that they should go to hell?

This is a riddle that has no end.

It aggravates me to think that people should feel guilty because they don't fit in the norm of society just because they're different.

Different is a good thing!

Doing something that harms another person for your own selfish sake is not a good thing.

Who am I?

Take a closer look

I have yet to figure the answer to this infamous question.

I know what I like and I know what I can tolerate.

I can't say that I hate anything in particular, because the things I claim to hate only last for so long and then I eventually accept those flawed figures. This includes people and any habitual things attached to people.

For some reason, I've never been able to classify myself as one person. Unless it's something ambiguous like 'kidder'. A name which I gave to myself because I'm a person to joke around a lot and a person that reflects the innocence of a child --or so I have been told.

Artsy? Smart? Pretty? Asian?

I've never been able to perfect the talent of drawing or sketching, nor have I been awarded something major that reflects my grades in school, nor have I been asked to be a model, nor can I speak my native language fluently. So it would only be unfair to say I'm any of those things.

I admit, I can be some of those things sometimes, but those titles seem so condensed to a stereo type that, not me or a single person I know can suffice to just one of those things.

So, what am I?

I haven't given much thought about this question until recently when I was talking to a friend of mine from work (J.P.) about various things. The topics themselves weren't important. But what is important is the way he spoke. He's different than me in a lot of ways. Such that he knows exactly what he likes, he's carefree about everything, he knows exactly how he feels about religions and to be brief, he speaks his mind.

I'm different from him in that I've never been certain about a lot of things. I'm carefree in some ways but not in the things that could potentially hurt someone's feelings. Therefore, I don't speak my mind. Maybe I would speak my mind if I were able to organize my thoughts, but that's another story altogether.


So why am I such an indecisive person?
It's because I hang around too many people that have inconsistent thoughts from each other, yet have reasonable thoughts in their own ways too. I'm taking everyone's opinions into account that I've lost my own.

It's strange. I hang around different groups of friends who are all exceptionally awesome. But if you take all those groups of friends together to sit and talk. Disagreement would be the air they breathe, uncomfortablenesses would be the seats they sit on and disgust would be all they see.
Because it's just the grossest feeling in the world to have the beliefs that you've grown up with diminished bya dirty little fact

Artsy? Smart? Pretty? Asian?

The truth is that everyone--well, everyone I've known so far--are basically good people.

I don't believe that anyone's opinions are necessarily wrong, because people are just doing what they see fit because that's how they were taught.

We are human after all.

//

So I have yet to answer this question of who I am. . .and let's see. I still don't know.

Sorry. I got distracted with my other thoughts and led you to an unnecessary detour.

//

Anyway, what do you think?

Hm?